Sleeping
by AirElemental101
Summary: Edward contemplates and questions he and Roy's relationship. Where does he fit into Roy's life? Does he? Drabble turned fic. nondescriptive RoyEd minor course lang.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I dislaim

A/N: I actually had this written for some time. I just finally decided to more it from my livejournal to here. Not sure about the title. Apparently that's what I had called it when I first wrote it, for whatever reason. To be honest, when I first refound it on my computer I thought I had save it from someone else, I had forgotten that I had even wrote it. Hope it's decent though. I may or may not continue past this.

Sleeping  


Splish, splash…

Splish, splash…

Edward Elric walked barefoot across the immaculate lawns of Central Headquarters, gardens of brightly colored flowers to either side of him, his abandoned shoes dangling from his hands. But it was the rain drops and the thunder and lightning above that paid testament to his mood.

He had gone to where they had arranged to meet- a small, private pub a short walk from the dorms where Ed was staying. Ed had gone, but _he_ had never shown up. Three and a half hours he had waited, and his lover had never come. He had been stood up. Even when Hawkeye forced the Colonel to stay late to finish papers, she only did so until about 8:30, when she was too tired herself to force him to do anything. That left plenty of time for him to make it. But he hadn't.

"It was probably the damn rain," said Ed aloud to himself. "Roy hates the rain…"

_But if he had really wanted to come, if he **really** wanted to be with **you**, then he would have still come…_

This thought saddened him greatly, because he knew it was right. There was a time when Roy would brave storm and flurry to meet Ed somewhere. This observation of course, invited analyses of what had changed…

"A year and a half- it's been a year and a half since we first got together. And instead of getting better over time, it seems to have gotten worse," said Ed, still talking aloud to himself. "At first, he respected me, I knew it. But now… I don't know…" Ed rubbed his hands over his face. When he removed them, he realized he had come up on the Pitman Fountain, lit up from under the water, casting a glittery glow over everything in the ring of stone that surrounded it. Ed walked up to the fountain, looking into it's depths, as if trying to scry the secrets of life.

"Not once has he said that he loves me. He seems to always skirt around it when it comes up. Oh sure, I've said it, but never him," said Ed closing in on himself. He hung his head, "I'm such a fool…" With that Ed turned and continued down the lawn towards the dorm buildings.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm not really sure if I like this or not. I'd appreciate feedback as I'm thinking of rewriting it. But I have a lot to do. Hopefully this and the following chapter will work for now.

Disclaimer for Ch 2 and 3—I don't own FMA. If I did, Ed and Al would be in Amestris and Ed and Roy would live a long and happy life together.

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Ed sighed as he entered the warm and—more importantly—dry dorm building. As he moved towards the stairs his bare automail foot made a clicking sound that, had he been in a normal frame of mind, would have drove him mad. But as it was, his mind was too busy running circles around itself to notice.

'Maybe I'm over reacting. He's had to pull some late nighters before. Maybe there was a new case he had to start on…'

It felt like a lie even as he thought it, but he had read somewhere once that we all need our little saving illusions, and he felt a little of the weight on his heart lift in a moment of hope.

The moment was shattered as he heard a very familiar laugh from one of the rooms on his floor.

Ed stopped. What would Roy be doing on this floor if not to see him?

He followed the sound until he reached a door further down the corridor, and stopped next to a door. He looked at the name plaque next to it—

"Havoc, Jean."

Ed didn't even think as he pushed his way through the door. He stopped just inside, looking around. Liquor and alcohol bottles littered the floor where Havoc could be seen rolling around in fits of laughter, drunk and having obviously fallen out of his chair. Breda wasn't in much better shape, though at least he had kept himself in his seat. And splayed out on the couch was—

"Roy," said Ed, emotionless.

The colonel was in the middle of downing a drink and didn't hear him, but Havoc turned and squinted, "Ed? Watchoo doin' here?"

At that the colonel choked on his drink and turned towards the door. He opened his mouth, probably to spin off some unnecessary tort. But the look on Ed's face stopped him in his tracks.

He had tried. He really had… but like his mother, he had never been good at hiding his emotions. His hands balled into fists and his muscles tensed. He felt his eyes become scratchy, but he refused to let the flood release... the nails of his left hand began to dig into his palm, but it was nothing compared to his emotional build up…

Maybe it was extreme, but between these events and his own inner doubts, Ed felt abandoned… Roy had chosen alcohol over him, _again_… and he had done the one thing he had promised to never do… he had _lied_…

"_Are you sure it isn't…"_

"_No Ed, it isn't a problem. I just like to have a drink every once and a while…"_

"_**A** drink Roy? You came home hanging off some bimbo you had been drinking with and passed out! I had to hold you over the fucking toilet to make sure you didn't drown! Not only that, but you completely left me hanging at that stupid theatre production that **you** wanted to go see! And this is the fifth time I've had to babysit you after one of your binges! Are you trying to kill yourself?! One of these days I may not be here to keep you from accidentally succeeding! It needs to stop! But if this is what it's going to be like—I can't—I won't--" _

"_If it bothers you that much I'll quit, alright?"_

"_Alright… you promise you won't back out…"_

"_I told you Ed, you can trust me. I promised I wouldn't lie, not to you…"_

"Ed?" asked the colonel blearily from the sofa. "What's wrong."

'At least he's not incoherent yet…' Ed thought.

"Did you forget something?" asked Ed coldly.

"I don't think—" Suddenly Roy halted and squinted his eyes. Then they widened and he looked at Ed and began to open his mouth to say something. But Ed didn't want to hear it. When Roy turned back towards the door, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

I disclaim.

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"Ed! Ed, please wait!"

Roy had dashed after Edward as quickly as a drunk man could, which was surprisingly quick in his case. But the sight of Edward in such a state, knowing he had done it and afraid of what the blond would do, had sobered him up quite quickly. They had just made it outside the dorms and were standing on the lawn outside, rain pouring around them. He reached out and tried to grab Ed by the arm before he got too far but had it yanked out of his grip.

"Go away Roy! You've done enough!"

"Edward, you're over reacting--!"

"Am I Roy? Oh I'm so sorry that I'm upsetting _you_!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? It was just a few drinks--!"

"You promised!" yelled Ed. "But once again, I take the backseat!"

"Oh, you're one to be talking about taking backseats! What happens when Al comes back to visit from the Rockbells?! Who takes backseat then?!"

"That is so not the same Roy, and you _damn_ well know it!" yelled Ed.

"What's the real problem here Ed? What's got a stick up your ass?" asked Roy, suddenly sounding breathless and tired.

"What do you see when you look at me Roy?"

"What?" asked Roy, confused. "I see… _you_, why?"

"No Roy, what do you see? Do you see the past, just the present… or do you see a future," said Ed, choking towards the end despite himself.

Roy didn't answer. What was he supposed to say? What was Edward trying to get at?

"I… I don't know…"

Ed laughed cynically and tearfully. "If you don't know, then what the hell are we doing here?"

A deadly silence met this announcement, interrupted only by the storm raging around them and through them.

"I don't know," said Roy finally.

Ed threw up his hands before letting them fall back in defeat, then began walking back towards the dorms.

As he passed, he muttered, "No wonder you could never say you loved me."

Then as he yanked open the entrance he paused, "So much for our happy ending," he said, and then he slammed the door without looking back.

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So, should I continue this? If I do, it'll be from Mustang's perspective next. Is it worth it? Thanks for reading!

A-Ed


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

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Lightning flashed and reflected off the wet world around Roy as he walked across the front lawn of HQ, unwittingly backtracking the same path Edward had just come by. One question echoed in his mind…

"_What do you see when you look at me?"_

The rain had long since soaked through the uniform to his skin and a chill was beginning to settle in, but still he trudged on, wandering the landscape of his thoughts. Eventually his physical wanderings brought him towards the only source of light other than the cracking bolts of lightning above him—the fountain.

He stopped and stared, the rippling reflection of the water projected onto his face by the soft white light that lit it from underneath.

"_What do you see…?"_

"What _do_ I see?" he asked himself.

'_Past…'_

"I see him as a fiery young brat that was stubborn and sensitive as hell and refused to take 'no' as an answer, or let the laws of physics themselves restrain or limit him…"

'_Present…'_

"He's still stubborn and sensitive, and still doesn't take no for an answer. In fact, despite the last few years, he hasn't changed much, with the exception of a bit of earned wisdom and maturity. And the fire still burns, even after its driven purpose has been long since been accomplished…"

'_Future…?'_

And there in lied the question. Did he see a future, a life, with Edward Elric?

As he considered it, he realized—how _could_ he imagine life _without_ Edward? The young man was the one who gave him a reason to wake up in the morning and a reason to come home at night. Sure he had work and his other subordinates, but no matter how absorbing climbing the political ladder could become, one could not live on work alone. Eventually even it lost its luster. But Edward… if work were the meat of his life, Edward was what made it bearable to swallow. He was the spice of Roy's life. Again he wondered how he could have ever imagined a life without Edward Elric…

And here he had made a royal mess of things. What a bastard he had been… he'd forgotten him, criticized his devotion for his brother, and let him walk away thinking he'd never said he loved him…And right there amidst the thundering storm and illuminated by the soft glow of the fountain that had seen so many tears that night, Roy Mustang did something he hadn't done in a long time, at least since the Ishval rebellion… he prayed, in the hopes that someone or something out there would hear him.

Because somehow, someway, he had to convince Ed to forgive him and to give him a second chance, and at the same time avoid bodily injury.

God help him.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I disclaim FMA.

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As slow and numbing as the walk out to the fountain had been, the rush back to the dorms was anything but. Upon entering he immediately started jumping stairs upward, the water dripping off of him causing him to slip dangerously a couple of times. But he didn't care, he needed to get to Ed…

Finally he was on the floor and in two seconds he was in front of Ed's door. It was locked. Was he asleep? Good thing he knew where Ed hid a spare with his alchemy. A quick circle and… voila!

He slid the key in quietly and opened the door…

Ed was curled up in a ball, almost lost amongst the mounds of blankets piled on the bunk. Occasionally a streak of lightning would light up the room and glint off a mop of golden locks, the only visible part of Ed.

Roy smiled at the sight. He had always loved to watch Ed sleep. It was the one time he could see the premature lines of Ed's face relax. And when they did, sometime Roy couldn't help but think that Ed was perhaps a fallen angel sent down to save this lonely sinner from himself. How could he have possibly forgotten… how could he _not_ imagine…

He stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind him before walking over to sit on the edge of the bed. Finally Ed seemed to realize that someone else was in the room with him and turned to see Roy sitting on the bed, smiling down at him.

"Bastard, what are you—?"

"Shh…" said Roy, laying a finger to Ed's lips, but Ed jerked back.

"Roy, you're soaked and freezing! Are you trying to make youself sick? What are you—Hey! You're wet!" whined Ed as Roy laid down next to him and wrapped his arms around the blond.

"Hey! I asked you, what do you think—"

"You fall asleep too quickly."

"Wha—what?" asked a dumbfounded Ed. What was Roy talking about?

"The reason why you've never heard me say 'I love you' is because you fall asleep too quickly. I say it every night as we lay down to sleep, even when we fight. But I guess you've never been awake to hear it."

Ed was stunned to silence.

"As for our 'happy ending,'" said Roy, curling closer to Ed. "So long as I can look into the future and know I'll still be fighting you for pillow rights, I'll be content."

"Roy…" said Edward, barely trusting his voice.

"I know I don't deserve you, and I'm sorry for anything and everything I've done to make you question me, or rather us. But please, if you could find it in you to just give me one more—"

He was interrupted as Edward turned around and captured his mouth in a silencing kiss.

As he pulled away from a stunned Roy, Ed grinned and said, "Shut up."

Slowly a small smile came to Roy's lips and he softly returned the kiss.

"Thank you," he said.

"But don't think you're getting away with this. Tomorrow we're finding you some help, and we'll discuss a… _suiting_ punishment," Ed smiled deviously in a way that had Roy groaning and burying his face in the pillow.

"And get out. You're wet. There's towels in the closet."

Roy sighed but did as he was told. He also grabbed the extra toothbrush he had left over during his last stay in Ed's dorm. When he came back Ed was already back to being fast asleep, breathing lightly through his mouth. Roy smiled as he laid a towel down over the wet spot from earlier then curled up around his better half.

"Goodnight, and I love you," Roy whispered.

Then he too fell into a deep sleep.

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A/N: I guess I could have kept this to myself and waited till I got more reviews, but shortly after I posted the last one I went to class and I had this story stuck in my mind and the blood for it was flowing in my veins… so I spent the lecture and lunch writing it (while also paying attention, but it's a simple class). So now this story is complete… for the moment. You never know though, b/c as we all know, it takes more than one night to work through a relationship's problems. I can tell you for certain however, that there will be a sort-of sequel to this called 'Alcoholics Anonymous' only it will be humor instead of drama.

And yes, I know the ending might suck, but I can't help it… I like at least a semi-happy ending.

And look! I even managed to tie in the title so it actually makes sense! Even the title was completely seperate from the original intent of this fic (which was supposed to be a oneshot)!


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